Proving That Anger is
Rotten
Q.
My "tween" son is mad at the world a lot of the time. He's mad at us. He's mad
at his brother. He's mad at his teacher. He's mad at his friend. He's mad at
his coach. He never actually has it out with any of them; he just gets mad and
stays mad. Then we all suffer from his moodiness and unhappiness. I know some
of this adolescent angst is normal. But how can I get him to lighten up on
life, and start to take control over his tendency toward negative emotions?
Here's
a unique way to give a child an unforgettable demonstration of how harmful it
is to let angry feelings fester - and get your fridge fresh and clean at the
same time:
Set
out a glass of milk, a piece of bread and a small block of cheese on your
kitchen counter. Put a note next to these items, labeling them as "anger."
Now just
leave them there on the counter at room temperature for just as long as your
family can stand it. Let the kids get a good whiff of how bad that milk begins
to smell. Make sure they see the ugly mold that forms on the bread and cheese.
That's
what happens to you when you let negative feelings and unresolved bitterness
fester inside you. Teach your kids that anger, like all other negative
emotions, needs immediate attention and action to put a stop to it, or life
will begin to get stinky and icky.
Anger
is actually good for you, if it prompts necessary positive action or change.
But like milk, bread and cheese, feelings can wind up going sour if they aren't
dealt with. And, like food in a refrigerator, feelings must be kept cool or
they'll start to stink and look ugly. Rotten food doesn't do anybody any good,
and it's the same thing with the rotten emotion of unresolved anger.
Next
time your child gets angry, clean out the refrigerator together. Talk about
what went wrong and what your child can try next time. Dispose of spoiled
leftovers - and yucky feelings - at the same time. Then both your fridge and
your child's heart will be fresh and clean.
Homework:
Here's a kid-friendly website on anger management for kids with more good tips:
www.angriesout.com